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Shmooze

The truth is out there

Photo: NASA/ESA
Photo: NASA/ESA

I HOPE you’re sitting down. Shmooze can finally reveal the truth – we are not alone in the universe.

That is, of course, according to Haim Eshed, Israel’s 87-year-old former space security chief.

A retired general who led the space program for almost 30 years and has received the Israel Security Award three times, Eshed revealed to Israeli paper Yediot Aharonot recently that Israel and the United States have been in contact with extra terrestrials for years.

Per Eshed, there is a “Galactic Federation” and agreements have been made between the US and aliens, the cooperation including a secret underground base on Mars.

Eshed’s newest book reportedly has more details, including how aliens have helped to avert nuclear apocalypses and details on the mysterious Men In Black.

Asked why he’s revealing it all now, Eshed said, “If I had come up with what I’m saying today five years ago, I would have been hospitalised (editor’s note: you may still be.)

“Today, they’re already talking differently. I have nothing to lose. I’ve received my degrees and awards; I am respected in universities abroad, where the trend is also changing.”

Outgoing President Donald Trump is also apparently aware of the aliens (that explains A LOT) and was on the verge of announcing their existence but was stopped from doing so as humanity needs to first “evolve and reach a stage where we will … understand what space and spaceships are”, according to Yediot Aharonot.

Presumably, if one follows Star Trek lore, this is because we have not yet discovered the secret to travelling at warp speed – maybe that’s because we use (or waste) our technology to share funny pictures of cats and videos of ourselves undertaking silly challenges.

The Jerusalem Post said it attempted to contact the Galactic Federation for comment but was unsuccessful.

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